The urge to purge has struck once again. To quote one of my favorite twitter thinkers, Ikedelic, "I feel torn between the desire to create & the desire to destroy." However, any plutonic person will tell you that they go hand in hand. I am sitting in my window sill observing both as I write this. My room, if one were to look down from ceiling is like a yin yang symbol with one "side" freshly moved into, neat, clean, organized and decorated. The other has piles of potions and creams and colors and shadows and brushes and...you get the point.
I put my freelance career on hold for the last year to work a full time, salaried position; something I had never done. While it was an experience that I'll always value, I realized just how much I value choosing how to destroy and create my time. Now as I dive back into art occupying more of my time there's makeup everywhere. Chaos must happen to instill a new order. And maybe it's just me, but it's all so sentimental. As I become reacquainted with the colors and textures in my arsenal, memories flood behind my eyes and I find myself highly amused at how much a single color or product can trigger. Face Atelier foundation flashes Bryant Park before my eyes and echoes "Young Folks" while Ben Nye fake blood flashes a Duane Reade run in Soho at 4am to buy more wipes. OCC's Spanglemaker & Copperhead lived on my nails in Hawaii and carry with them a flavor of air only an erupting volcano can emit.
The process has begun. Taking stock. Throwing shit away. I don't need the clear lipgloss I was given a few years ago as I've since acquired better textures. But I do NEED to keep the first shadows I was ever in love with and wore sparingly so as to make them last. So I'll continue to weigh everything in this manner and create space, essential for anything new.
My space is being created for my own sanity and organization along with a new furry friend. I'm so excited to have an animal in my life once again!!! (: The various cats, dogs, hamsters, and fish that have lived by my side have all been special and certainly fated but this little girl feels magical. I've never had a kitten this young nor a pet that was solely mine. She's the daughter of a cat my friend found, Luna, who was originally offered to me. She's a calico, which I haven't had the best experiences with the breed...but what better way to confront one's stereotypes about a breed than to coexist with it? I like to challenge myself. She was born on April 25th under a Scorpion full moon and lunar eclipse and I was lucky enough to meet her on her birthday. Her name is Hydra Rubidea and I can't wait to bring my little plutonic moon kitty home! Until then, the purge continues.
Oh that kitty!
ReplyDeleteI'm living with my first on my own cat too. Its quite the experience.