Directions by moonlight

I'm amused by any word ending in ion. Comprehension. Relation. Communication. Expression. Direction. And it's only fitting that as a cat woman I'm a fan of cations though I'm aware anions are necessary. Universal balance and all that chemical jazz.

Direction. Upon seeing the postcard I referred to in my last post in full lighting rather than ambient, next to the hummingbird, imprinted were words detailing the energies of the 4 directions:

South - shed your past
West - learn to walk with your shadow
North - Savor the sweetness of living
East - fulfill your destiny

While aware of directional guardians per indigenous belief, (hawks, crows, eagles and owls), I don't think I ever came across the sacred directions defined in such a simple way.

Which led me to wonder...aside from being born with a plethora of energy that's naturally comfortable with the underworld, did I also grow up learning to walk with my shadow being raised out west? Or is west my 0 point and thus any travel in any direction from this point only then harnesses the energies associated with each? Either way, with these directional "definitions" in mind it's interesting to replay my various travels and moves.

Driving southwest from NY I most certainly was shedding and purging. Moving once again and driving north from LA to SF I for sure am savoring the sweetness of living. The interesting thing is that the entire time I was in NY it felt as though I was hardcore learning to walk with my shadow. Perhaps that was a major player in fulfilling my destiny?

I can't be sure at this point though since moving back to SF I've felt far more of a kinship with the sun, while in NY I couldn't help but be obsessed by the moon. On my day off earlier this week I had the urge to replace my moonstone ring. The stone came loose from the setting in LA and they've been separated ever since, sharing a drawer in my jewelry box. At the same store my initial ring came from, I searched the shelves for something similar. I didn't quite understand the moonstone obsession I was feeling (still don't) but it was just something I had to do. Among every single ring in the store, the only one I fell in love with was this.



Something about it just felt right and after all this musing on directions and shadows it seems to make sense. I've finally learned to own my moon; own my shadows.

It's raining cats and dogs!

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

In moving back home I brought both Hydra and Nixie, my two calico kitten sisters. My sisters dog who my mom adopted and renamed, Scrappy, already lives here. Introducing the 3 of them has been and continues to be quite the process but a joy to watch nonetheless. My girls were born with and raised by a dog. Their own mother Luna, was a kitten herself who really couldn't be bothered with her motherly duties aside from feeding them which even then, at times we had to lay her down and pet her so she'd stay still long enough for them to nurse. Ani, their doggie mom, would herd them when they were old enough to walk, constantly counting to make sure none had wandered too far. She groomed them and played with them long after Luna disappeared by jumping out a window. Scrappy too, as a young pup was raised with a cat, Bebe. She was his best friend and the two would spend hours playing together wrestling, tagging each other, stalking and hunting. Yet for Scrappy, that was now almost 4 years ago so his reactions and the way he attempts to play confuses and at times scares my girls and vice versa as he has become accustomed to solely playing with other dogs.

All parts of life reflect or parallel other parts of life, it's just the way the world works if one pays attention. In watching these animals get to know one another: understanding the others movements, vocalizations and boundaries, I can't help but think once again about the shadow side of human beings. Appropriately, anima and animus. Animals operate on instinct and while human beings are animals, our instinct, our collective consciousness for whatever reason has been shoved down deep in the dark and exists as our collective subconsciousness mostly. And so when our animal side peeks its head up from the dark wanting to play, we often have two things working against us. If our animal side hasn't come out to play in a while, we may startle ourselves causing a sense of anxiety because we swear we know ourselves. Simultaneously we may startle others as we haven't shown that side in quite some time. While nothing delights me more than observing animals at play, I have found that just like my kittens and resident dog, it can be a bit of a process.

Most of my life I've been an observer and was deemed shy as a child. In an unfamiliar environment, I am the cat in the shadows inhaling the scents and watching the movements of those around me. My tail does the talking for me. I study their strut, make note of their various play tactics and watch to see where their eyes land. Entering any social gathering really is much like visiting a watering hole deep in the jungle as there are a plethora of species at any given one who all come out to satisfy their thirst and lay in the sun. Once I understand and can identify who's around me I then and only then will drink and play and chase and pounce. There are other animals, much like Scrappy our resident dog who, just as curious as any cat, are namely ruled by their nose and delight themselves in getting closer, quicker, to breathe a little more deeply and understand the scent invading their nostrils a bit better. They are vocal and express themselves through sound howling and barking and whining, tail flip flopping like a metronome.

Both are curious. Both desire to let loose and just play with one another. But for now, in order for that to happen, the cats continue to perch out of reach, study his movements to make sure he won't hurt them, tail talking all the while and he continues to vocalize and smell as best as he can in the distance they've given him. Animals. You've gotta love 'em.

I'm your fire

November 15th I stood in the middle of a glorious field. Silhouettes of mountains framed the early morning sky and I held the hand of a small boy. This sky was the perfect shade of indigo fading into cerulean as the sun would soon rise. He was silent but the excitement I could feel emanating from his tiny hand flushed my own with the warmth of a raging bonfire. His eyes were bright and wide as he took in the scope of the sky with the purest sense of wonder and awe wearing a smile he couldn't contain. In the distance, just over the peak of the mountain range was a brilliant white light that pierced the space in the sky where the two shades of blue bled into one another. I pointed and explained to him that that was the morning star. That was Venus.

Burning like a silver flame.

Though my dreams have seemed to stream steadily in recent months, this is the most recent that I can recall. And while I generally keep up on astrological weather (what sign planets are in, who's going retrograde, who's playing with whom etc), I hadn't realized that Venus would soon be entering her shadow period as happens with all planets prior to retrograde motion. As I've mentioned in other entries, the concept of value has been a personal theme for some years now. With my natal sun in the second house, ruled by the phrase "I want" or "I desire", I attributed my reason for focus on values lately solely due to my solar return. This is not the case.

In reading my twitter feed, articles that pop up and in damn near every conversation I've had, people have been steadily beginning to express and question what's important to them. What they value. What they desire. Venus rules all of these things. In her second house Taurus home, she is representative of earthly delights. The 900 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets that make your skin squeal with delight? That's Venus. The luxury perfume that causes your nostril to orgasm? Venus. This is her lower vibration as I understand it. In her seventh house Libra home, she expands to include others and rather than touching her, her vibration is one you feel with your eyes and heart. Here she becomes responsible for taking the time to beautify yourself and your surroundings, and with this beautification comes judgement as demonstrated by her scales. From a simple question of "Should I wear red lipstick or pink?" to "Does this person add or detract beauty from my life?" It is in this space that she ultimately seeks harmony. What I have found true of most Libra/Venusian ruled beings who are often labeled as passive aggressive, is that if harmony and balance cannot be created, they will solve the problem by removing themselves. Because you see Venus is a creator and finds great joy and delight in her creations. Her dance is fueled by the sacred fire that smolders within. If her creations are not harmonious and do not add to her state of beauty, she'll destroy them by simply walking away and creating anew, akin to animals ceasing to feed the weakest link.

I'll use my eyes to invite you, my lips to delight you and all of the charms of the feminine wiles to excite you.

In reading a bit about her existence in Roman times, it tickled me that what began to play in my head were lyrics from Eartha Kitt's song, I'd Rather Be Burned as a Witch. While Wikipedia isn't always the best source, the statement that "her cults may represent the religiously legitimate charm and seduction of the divine by mortals, in contrast to the formal, contractual relations...and the unofficial illicit manipulation of divine forces through magic." warmed me at my core. If I'm taking that statement in the way I believe it was intended, to invoke Venus is to seduce the divine. Unfortunately while writing about her second house vibration, the term "guilty pleasure" came to mind. Perhaps that's my own Chiron in Taurus being touched upon, but it begs to be spoken of. We currently live in repressed times. Venus is anything but repressed. She lives for pleasure, for what else creates true harmony? Guilt should never exist in the same sentence as pleasure and yet it's become a standard catch phrase.

Which brings me to her third vibration. The 12th house of dreams, Pisces. Yes, the fish is ruled by Neptune but just as Uranus is a higher vibration of Mercury, so is Neptune a higher vibration of our lovely lady. Now if something as simple as indulging in sheets that excite your skin, or telling someone "Get out of my world, it's prettier without you!" (Albeit in a gentler manner - Pluto is tied to my own Venus so he goes where she does), evokes feelings of guilt, how then can you truly invoke her highest vibration of all and create your dreams? Guilt should be bound, gagged and thrown in the ocean to drown. There is no place for guilt in dreams because Venus wants you to be ultimately pleased and tickled pink, no matter the cost. She wants you to dance and sing and play and most importantly, orgasm as often as you can. She is the pleasure principle and asks simply, what pleases you?