Writing that list I feel silly. But what it all boiled down to was simply "Who the fuck are you to define me?" On top of the fact that rarely have I been comfortable with the amount of attention I receive. Especially for something as base as body parts. My mom tried to teach me, she really did. She would tell me to own it with a comeback like "At least I'm sweet!" (In response to Risa's pieces) But it still got under my skin like no other. Obviously I've learned to own it as an adult and ET was the one who changed my mind. If an alien loved the candy, then maybe it wasn't so bad.
My mom has always driven me slightly crazy. I suppose that's what a mothers job is but the more I become reacquainted with myself, I'm realizing that in my case, she was and still is teaching me to own a part of my light that I've struggled with since birth. She is an Aquarius, ruled by Uranus.
As in my last post discussing my dynamic duo of love and death, my light, my sun, simply cannot be defined without the revolutionary spirit Uranus embodies. They too, are joined at the hip for better or for worse in this soul of mine. (S)he is androgynous. A fiery and feisty bizarre being stirring up the status quo. (S)he intuits messages unheard by the masses and inspires revolution to occur so higher, enlightened ideals may be acheived. Needless to say, those who live their quiet comfy lives content to stagnate don't always receive Uranus well, especially tied to a Plutonic sun. My light is that of an Uranian alien. Where Saturn is about restriction, Uranus is boundless and doesn't wish to be defined as that would only limit all that (s)he is and can be. So as a child, I fought being put in box. I'll decide which box to put myself in, and then shift it when and how I see fit.
I have tempered myself over the years, and shunned my light in recent ones. If I am to wholly accept myself and shine my light with all my might I must 100% own the gift that my Mother has given me and accept that I am bizarre in moments, crazy to those who can't see, and will piss people off by stirring up their lives. Yet I trust and own that this gift I've been given is for the greater good of those I touch, whether they or I can see it or not. Today I am grateful for rediscovering another piece of myself.