My 2013 can be summed up in two words: movement & home. Looking back I suppose it's fitting I began the year at the Thompson hotel beside a friend who didn't want to spend the holiday alone. I felt out of place nearly the entire time but also felt I was "doing my duty" as a liminal being and providing companionship in one of his darkest hours. The hotel was his temporary home and I myself am on my 9th temporary home as this year comes to a close.
This year I faced the remainder of a transit that literally hit home as Pluto straddled my IC, my roots. A few months back a friend commented that while it may seem I was free spirited to others traveling and moving so much, he knew why I was really moving. I don't know if he truly knew as he never spelled it out but I do. Though I wouldn't say I allow astrology to completely rule my life, I do make note of, utilize and attempt to flow with energetic transits rather than exist unaware and (possibly) fight them as knowing what you're up against is half the battle. I had to move. I had to explore. I had to meander my way through various homes so I could observe and learn what this concept of home is really about and then proceed to allow my perception of it to be transformed.
11 months ago I moved into my 3rd NY apartment and over the course of the next 8 months learned what kind of home I was capable of creating from raw, bare space. I had this opportunity with my first place in Brooklyn but chose to leave it pretty empty utilizing it mostly as a studio space, which was nice but it always lacked that warm feeling I believe a home should elicit. In contrast, living on St. Marks, I invested. I entered the lease knowing it would be temporary as I didn't plan on staying but putting the effort, energy and money into creating a space that felt beautiful and comfortable and homey was something I had to do for myself. Even with the looming feeling that I'd be moving soon I bought new artwork and hung it on the walls 2 months before packing everything into boxes. The details were all very necessary.
If what they say is true, that home is where the heart is, where is home when pieces of ones heart are scattered across the globe? While I feel extremely blessed that I can feel at home in various spaces and places in this grand world, this year I learned how to create and decorate my own space, rather than just feeling at home (or not) in others spaces. Back at point zero, I am beginning this new year without a space to call my own. The void is a beautiful place if you can stand the uncertainty. Existing without any ties to a place, nor person I am free. The rubble has all been washed away. This year I can begin to build a more suitable foundation for my life, conscious of what I want home to feel like and free to create it as I please.